"Like a Child" - A Vael Short Story

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"Like a Child"

By Alyssa Huber

  
          Lushia's hand sparked as her heart beat desperately in her chest. She might have magic, but she couldn't magically whisk away the anxiety.

          "Focus, Lushia." Seamus said to her gently.

          Lushia choked on her words before she could speak.

          "How can I control my magic if I can't even control what's going on in my head?" Lushia asked, more of herself than Seamus.

          "You can." Seamus replied. "It just takes practice, and patience. I need you to be patient."

          "I can't..." Lushia said hopelessly, dropping to her knees.

          All this drama over trying to zap a target dummy. She felt so stupid.

          "You say that, but it's not true." Seamus said, leaning down to her level. "I know you can. Thinking that you can't is a self-fulfilling prophecy--"

          "I know." Lushia responded firmly, annoyed.

          She didn't want to hear it again. Seamus had already explained the "self-fulfilling prophecy" concept on more than one occasion, and it echoed it a thousand times more in Lushia's head. If she could think differently, she would have by now.

          Seamus sighed.

          "I'll leave you alone for a while then." said Seamus. Lushia could tell he was trying to hide his own impatience. She wished he wouldn't; then perhaps they could relate better, and she wouldn’t feel like a freak with her heart on her sleeve. Seamus was always so controlled, so elegant, so... perfect. More perfect than her...

          As soon as Seamus was out of sight, she buried her face in her hands. She couldn't even do simple magic right. How could she possibly think she could be a contributing member of the Celestial Emissaries? She felt silly for starting this futile pursuit.

          "Why you hiding your face, Lushy?" said the charmingly baby-like voice of a young girl.

          Oh... oops. Lushia thought, and she looked up to see little Shira, the moon fairy. standing in front of her with her hands behind her back. She was leaning towards Lushia curiously, her small frame not much taller than Lushia when she was hunched over.

          "Uh..." Lushia stuttered, not sure if Shira would understand. "No reason. Whatcha doing, Shira?"

          "Flower hunting!" said Shira. "Just like Daddy, 'cept he hunts aminals. I got these for you!"

          Shira held out a handful of flowers of various colors, some stems bent and others upright. It was the cutest smushed bouquet Lushia had ever seen.

          "Aww, thank you, Shira!" Lushia said, accepting the flowers.

          After Shira skipped away, Lushia carefully set the flowers down on a stone brick of the ruined wall that lined the training area. Lost in thought, she resumed her position a few yards away from the dummy. She took a deep breath and focused again.

          Lushia noticed the tension in her shoulders, so she stopped to relax and think for a moment. The tension swiftly left her as she gazed at the trees. Moon fairies like Shira live hundreds of years, and Lushia wondered how old she was. Hiro was her adoptive father, on top of being the king's son and captain of the Celestial Guard. He explained to Lushia that moon fairies never "grow up" like we do--that is, they always retain a childlike body and nature. Shira's age was unknown even to her, and there was no way Hiro could figure it out.

          However long Shira had lived, she was like a child, unburdened by the world and its expectations. Why couldn't Lushia be like that?

          Maybe it's because Shira didn't have any responsibilities, at least none Lushia knew of. As for Lushia, it felt as if the entire world was depending on her. But when she dug deeper, she realized that was not the case. No one cared what she did, and perhaps her intentions were selfish. If she didn't have the Shadow Mark herself, would she even bother to look for a cure for others?

          A feeling of dread clouded her vision. Out of the corner of her eye, Lushia noticed her Mark spreading down her arms again. Letting out her breath, she gazed at the trees again, trying to clear her mind with the luscious branches dressed in green, swaying in the wind. She forgot how easy it was to unknowingly spiral into her rabbit-hole of desparate thoughts.

          Be like Shira. Lushia thought to herself. Carefree; natural. I don't have to be perfect.

          Instead of thinking first, she lifted her hand in an elegant, relaxed motion. Looking at the dummy--and not expecting anything--she allowed herself to feel whatever came to her. A mix of fear, desperation, and self-loathing passed her by as the Mark slowly reversed direction and disappeared from her arms. A sort of calm euphoria followed, tingling up her spine and ballooning in her head. Her heart fluttered in controlled excitement as a dull blue glow began to halo her hand.

Her gaze shifted from her hand to the dummy, and she flicked her wrist swiftly, palm facing forward, willing her energy towards the target. A luminous blast was forced from her hand and knocked the dummy over, snapping the wooden pole that held it in place.

          Lushia smirked and pumped her fist victoriously, and it sizzled.

          "Ow!" she flinched as she loosened her hand, shaking it around until it stopped burning.

          A few moments passed, and she suddenly burst out laughing. Now that she finally got her magic to do what she wanted, not even a sizzling fist could put a damper on her excitement.

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